USS Scorpio

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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do Part Two

Posted on Sun Jan 6th, 2019 @ 4:21am by Lieutenant Jonathan Forrest

Mission: Episode 5 - Nightmare on Omega Centauri
Location: Forrest-Samuels Home
Timeline: Six Years Algo

/=\Forrest Samuels Home Six Years Ago/=\

Previously in Part One
“I have thought about that, a lot. I really have. You have no idea how much I’ve gone back and forth with this,” Jonathan replied as he took hold of Anjar’s hand that rested on top of his. “You’re my boyfriend, and it’s not because you’re the hottest guy in school, though you are the hottest guy in school. You’re my boyfriend because you’re so much more than that. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re going to make a hell of a diplomat someday, you’re everything I’ve ever hoped for in another person.”

And now the conclusion:

“But you don’t understand. I can’t stay. Yeah, Angela is going to need to stand on her own two feet. I get that. But that’s not why I’m going. Not really. And I know that we supposedly got through to them, but nothing is ever one hundred percent with them. I mean, we’ve been going together for almost three years and it was only a couple of months ago, that mom quit reminding me to make sure we used protection. If she thought we weren’t, it would be lecture time all over again. But that’s not the real reason either.”

“Don’t you get it? Whether or not they actually interfere or not other kids are going to think they did. As long as I’m here in San Francisco, so close to them and their influence, everyone is going to think that they’re pulling strings, that they’re the only reason I’m successful. I don’t see why you can’t go to the Academy at Bajor. With me.”

"Just because I'm not willing to leave everything behind, to leave my family behind, doesn't put me in the wrong here. What does it matter what people think as long as you know the truth?” Anjar argued, raising his voice. "No matter where you go, people are going to recognize the name Forrest and they're going to judge you, good or bad, for it. You're trying to run from something that you can't escape. All going to that space station will do for you is take you away from me."

Jonathan’s brow furrowed in exasperation. “I know people are going to recognize the name. I’m not stupid. But it’s not just about what other people will think. It’s what I will think. Being here, so close to home, under their wing I’m always going to wonder whose achievement it really is. Mine or theirs. I, uh, I need to be out there, where I don’t have a safety net if things get tough. I want to know I’m doing it on my own.”

“And, I’m not saying you’re in the wrong babe, but my wanting to go there doesn’t make me in the wrong either. I just want us to be together. Please come with me, we can be a family together. You and me. I’ve even thought about asking you to….” his voice trailed off. “I really want us to be together.”

Anjar recoiled, glad that Jonathan hadn't said what he had thought about. Anjar had too and knew deep down it was going to happen, what had to happen instead. The Bajoran boy stood up, pacing around the table. "I do, too. But you have to go, and I have to stay. My family needs me, the best political programs are here, not out there. If I went with you....it would be to be with you, not for me, and the same is true here. We can keep having the same argument round and around." He took a deep breath, knowing what he had to do, but wondering if he could. "We need to put our career goals, our needs separate of one another first. I think we have to break up."

Jonathan suddenly found it hard to breathe. The words didn’t just sting, they were like an arrow to his soul. And he couldn’t keep the tears from springing to his eyes. He wanted to lash out, to hurt Anjar like he’d just been hurt, but he couldn’t do that. He loved the boy too much and he knew deep down that he was right. “I, I don’t want to lose you Anjar.” He swallowed hard, I don’t ever want to lose you.”

Seeing Jonathan start to tear up, caused Anjar to do the same. He wiped at his eyes. "I don't want to lose you either, but what else are we going to do? Deep Sape 13 is so far away."

“I don’t know,” Jonathan replied reaching over to take Anjar’s hand again. “I’ve seen the long distance thing first hand. I know how hard it is. But it’s not impossible. Couldn’t we, couldn’t we try that?”

Anjar squeezed Jonathan's hand and drew him into a hug. "We could, but we're looking at four years apart," it was longer than they had been together and seemed so far away, "And then what happens when we receive different assignments? How--how did your moms do it for so long?"

Jonathan held on to Anjar not wanting to let him go. “I could lie to you and say it was just love, or love and a lot of hard work. And it was those things. But, they were already officers and they had some pull. So they were able to coordinate leaves and unless there was some emergency or one of them was on some classified mission, they could pretty much talk to each other whenever they wanted. I don’t think we could do it that way.”

"Then what do we do? I'm not sure a weekly subspace call and seeing you on breaks is enough," Anjar said, stroking Jonathan's hair. "I want more than that. A lot more."

By now, the tears were falling freely down Jonathan’s face, “I want more than that too,” he said. “So, I, I, I think you’re right. As much as it hurts me, as much as I hate to give up on you, on us. I can’t give up on my dreams to command a ship someday and I can’t expect you to give up on your dreams, what you want to accomplish. So… I guess we don’t have any choice. The only question. The only question is now, or in four weeks when we graduate.”

Anjar didn't know which would be harder. Having Jonathan for four more weeks, knowing he'd only lose him or losing him now. "I think--I think I need to think about that. I don't--I don't know which is worse. I think we both need to take some time and think about how we want this to end." Anjar pulled Jonathan into a long, passionate kiss, savoring what could be their last moments together as a couple. "I'll call you," he promised. Then he reluctantly let the Human boy go and started to the door.

Jonathan wanted to call out to him, wanted to run to him. But he didn’t. He just sat there numbly and watched him walk out of the house and maybe his life for what could be forever.

Once Anjar had left, Angela finished coming down the stairs. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop but had caught the latter part of Anjar and Jonathan's conversation. She could see how upset her brother was. Wordlessly she hobbled over to the replicator. "A glass of chilled blackberry lemonade, an ice pack, and two bowls of cookies and cream ice cream," she ordered from the replicator. She picked up the set and brought it over to the kitchen table, slowly lowering herself down into it. She stuck the ice pack down onto her lap, and let out a pained sigh of relief. Then she pushed one of the bowls of ice cream to the chair closest to Jonathan.

Wordlessly he took the bowl from her and slowly began eating. “I. I, god it hurts so much. Why does it have to be this way Angela, why?”

"Because the things that bring us the greatest pleasure also have the potential to give us unimaginable pain," she said sagely, eating from her own bowl. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but there are other boys and girls out there. I'd wager there will even be a few in the Loki system. And, who knows, maybe you and Anjar will cross paths again later?"

“You really are pretty smart, I don’t know if anyone ever told you that before,” Jonathan said after he’d managed to stop crying and take a couple of bites of the ice cream. Promise me you won’t say anything to moms. Not until he decides whether we’re going to wait until after graduation. Will you do that for me?”

“I promise. That’s your and Anjar’s business, none of theirs until you want to tell them,” Angela reasoned. “Do me a favor and don’t tell them about me hobbling about or about how I spent my evening. Right now I don’t feel smart at all.”

“You took the words right out of my mouth, I was just going to make you that promise and ask what happened. Was, was it, you know, a boy?”

"Yeah... I went out to return to Country of the Stars and let that romantic scene unfold. I dressed up for it, not for anyone else, but, you know, for me. This guy at the rec center, he came onto me, and I ate it up." She spun her spoon around in her bowl, staring down at it. "I've never been....desirable to someone before. It felt nice. For the first time, I felt like a woman instead of a little girl. So I invited him onto the holodeck with me. He replaced the holodeck character in the night picnic scene. We started kissing and then things....escalated from there. At first, it felt good and then it didn't and I didn't--still don't--know how any of it is supposed to feel, so I didn't say anything. Um, when we were done, we said goodnight and I came back here."

She set her spoon down and sighed. "I feel like a crumpled up tissue in more ways than one. Is it....supposed to hurt the first time? Or is it because I rushed into it with a stranger? Or is there something wrong with me?"

“First, there’s nothing wrong with you. At least I don’t think so. And yes, it does hurt the first time. I can tell you that from personal experience. And I don’t think it was because he was a stranger or you rushed into it. You know as long as you’re sure he wasn’t trying to take advantage of you. If you think that might be the case then I’ll go kick his ass and cut something off of him. But, it does get better and does start to feel good.”

“Anjar and I never used protection like mom kept insisting, but we did use, you know, other stuff. Maybe that would help you too. You do know what I mean by stuff don’t you?”

Angela stared back at him blankly. “I have no idea what you’re referring to. You use 'stuff’ and 'things’ to describe just about everything.”

Jonathan’s face reddened. “Oh my God, you’re going to make me spell it out, aren’t you? He asked, “okay fine. Lu...

As soon as he started to say the word, Angela knew what he meant, stuck her fingers in her ears and started saying. “La, la, la, I get it now, I get it. Excuse me for being sweet and innocent and never replicating such things.” She pulled her fingers out of her ears and looked meekly over at Jonathan. “It does help?”

“It does and it’s kind of fun to put on.”

“Thank you, I needed that mental image. I knew you would threaten to kick this guy’s ass if I said anything,” Angela continued. “I knew it. I promise, going onto the holodeck together was my idea and I’m the one who didn’t say anything when I wasn’t enjoying what was happening. He didn’t take advantage of me.”

She took a sip of her lemonade and adjusted the ice pack. “I’m sorry about you and Anjar. I know you love him a lot.”

“I do, and I’m never going to stop loving him. I don’t care how good looking anyone on the Annex might be they’ll never be able to take his place. No one could do that. But, I think he was right. It is the only way. It is the right thing. It just doesn’t seem like the right thing now.”

“And it probably won’t for a long time to come, but wounds heal even broken hearts,” Angela said. “I know it’s none of my business, but if I were you two, I’d take every minute I could get with each other. Make some more memories, have some more sex, eat some more,” she looked at the pizza they had replicated and wrinkled her nose, “pizza ruined by pineapple. What you two have is special. It seems silly not to enjoy it while you can. You can join the Angela Samuels club of depressed single people making bad decisions and having one night stands in four weeks.”

“You’re right and that’s what I’m going to tell him tomorrow. If it’s got to end, I’m not going to let it end like this.” He pointed to the empty chair Anjar had just been sitting in before turning back to her, “I love you, sis.”

Angela lifted a spoonful of ice cream to her mouth, smirked, and said, “I know.”

Lt. Jonathan Forrest
Squadron Leader
USS Scorpio

Kristine Chester as Angela and Anjar

 

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